Yaco

Friday, January 26, 2007

well, all the stuff is finally over.

spent alot of time at the void deck of my grandma's house these few days and tried to study there but i guess the sound of mahjong and people chatting and playing cards isn't really conducive for studying.

which means i am pretty much dead for my chem and maths test.

doesn't really matter though, seeing that this is an A lvl year.

i know it's really wrong to say this but funerals are really alot of trouble.

first, there's all the procedures that have to be followed, including alot of rituals that doesn't make any sense and is extremely length.

maybe it's just cos i am an atheist.

second, there's the very high cost involved. a 5 days funeral cost more then 10k? that's alot of money that doesn't have to be spent.

for my funeral, i am gonna demand in my will that i am cremated within a day of my death and no rituals. instead, i want my family to just spend a day at the beach or a park or something in memory of me.

after all, after i am gone, isn't keeping the family together the most important thing rather then stupid stuff we do now just for the sake of "face"?

i see my extended family breaking up after this as my grandmother was the only thing that was keeping them together with all their quarrels.

that's another reason why i think funerals are a bad idea because my uncle and aunts were like in a heated "discussion" for 4 hours after everything's been settled about the cost related to the funeral?

it's like extremely stupid to start arguing just after your own mother has been cremated? although i don't believe in the afterlife, they do and what the hell do they think that their mother would be thinking after seeing them argue and behaving like kids?

and so me and my cousins were in the room watching this would-be-comedy-if-the-actors-weren't-our-parents play out. and feeling throughly irritated because we could all see how stupid their arguments were and how we were totally powerless to do anything about it due to the difference in seniority.

and them badmouthing each other infront of us doesn't really help either because they all believe themselves to be the only one right when it's really a case where no one is in the wrong and they just have different perspective.

i felt dumb after listening to them.

and to think that all of us were doing the exact same thing barely an hour ago when grandma was being cremated.

crying.

it's really heart-wrenching to hear their painful sobs when the coffin was being sent into the machine such that i teared myself even though i didn't tear at all throughout the whole 5 days.

now i really believe what my cousins told me. that life is like a cycle, you start off childish, grow mature and become childish again after you reach a certain age.

i certainly hope that i would know better then to behave like them when their combined age is like a few hundred years old and they are squabbling like kids over money and calculative to the last cent?

money really is the root of all evil.

time for life to go back to normal!

only i really, really hope that i don't do anything stupid again.

Last Barking On|10:55 PM|